And some men don't get it

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to
wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the
laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use
on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your
shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...


A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to
make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman
replies, "I'll miss you..."


"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says
as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you
think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she
replied.


He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She
said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing
board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their
special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good that each one of them
could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around
the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in
her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years
younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!


A PRAYER....
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN


Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males
after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the
toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A
man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your
e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"