The Fart Button...

One of TS' banner ads shows a "Fart Button"...
Yall know how Pucked is, he just feels the need to piss on a electric fence sometimes.
So I clicked on the button....Had the comforting feeling of laying in bed for all of two seconds!

Great Banner Ad ThunderStruck!

Now I feel left out. All I ever get is the "Congratulations! You have won our hourly prize. Just click here and sign over your privacy and join 20 different clubs and we'll give you a $5 necklace!" banner.

mschris wrote:

Now I feel left out. All I ever get is the "Congratulations! You have won our hourly prize. Just click here and sign over your privacy and join 20 different clubs and we'll give you a $5 necklace!" banner.

Maybe its just a Guy thang?

It brings to mind a funny story about a farting incedent that happend. If Pucked gets enough beer in him he might share it at the risk of pissing someone off.
Give me a coulpe of hours

Just a little something to ponder while pushing the Fart Button.

*The Poopie List*

GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!

Quote:

CORN POOPIE

Brings to mind the Rodney Carrington question- When did they start putting corn in a Snickers bar anyway?

blueline wrote:

Quote: CORN POOPIE Brings to mind the Rodney Carrington question- When did they start putting corn in a Snickers bar anyway?

or his 2 year old....... walked across the living room, squated and pooped right in the floor. He looked up at me with a " whatcha' gonna do about it daddy" look. ....... so I spanked his butt and rubbed his nose in it!


That poopie post is fucking funny!

Plumbgd wrote:

blueline wrote: Quote: CORN POOPIE Brings to mind the Rodney Carrington question- When did they start putting corn in a Snickers bar anyway? or his 2 year old....... walked across the living room, squated and pooped right in the floor. He looked up at me with a " whatcha' gonna do about it daddy" look. ....... so I spanked his butt and rubbed his nose in it! That poopie post is fucking funny!

God I missed this place over the last week!!!!

Poopie Post

Tornado, poopie post was a riot. My laugh of the day. Thanks.

Re: Poopie Post

momofthunderstruck wrote:

Tornado, poopie post was a riot. My laugh of the day. Thanks.

I never ever dreamed that you read this board!!! My first impression of you at Chili's was that you were a kind and gentle woman. Your son has definately corrupted you!!!!!

Tori, even "sweet little old ladies" enjoy a good laugh but, yes, TS is a bad influence on me.

A little help for those that need it:


HOW TO POOP OR FART AT WORK:

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.


CROP DUSTING:
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY:
This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE:
This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water.This reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME

WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

PROUD FARTERS:
These are people that will fart anywhere - anytime. If sitting they will lean to one side or the other so they can squeeze the fart out. Stay away from these people many times they will blame you for the farts. Many times the people are proud of the loud noise, see Noisy Farters.

SAFE HAVENS:
A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:
This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and try to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:
An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:
A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET:
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TODD:
An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.

OMG, that is fucking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MC I've got tears running down my face! Also, check your PM's.

The Wal-Mart of Flatulence.



http://www.fartmart.com/searching.asp?rqDesc=fart