Valentines Day

Valentines day is almost on top of us.

You know what that means. Love is in the air. Romance is in the air. And PROFITS are in the air. Yes, don't rub your eyes, you read correctly, i said "Profits".

Fact: Valentines day was created by the flower companies and the hallmark company AND chocolate companies and companies that create little plastic cupid creatures containing candy and fluffy what-nots.

THEY started valentines day to sell all of these 'romantic goodies' to unsuspecting sentimental consumers.

I don't buy it. And neither should you.
Don't buy anything 'heart-shaped', 'floral' or made of chocolate this valentines day. Don't purchase anything with a cupid or fluffy theme to it. Don't buy anything that contains something else that is cuteand/or romantic. To show your 'mate' that you adore them, do something worthwhile for them. Clean up their yard. Shovel something for them. Give their Honda a tune-up. Go to Sam's Club and buy them a flat of toilet paper and stock it in their basement.

Why not, as the ancients used to, kill something delicious for them and lay it on their door-step. Astag, a salmon, a sow. Or, as someone I have been seeing might suggest, spend the day in penitent prayer on their behalf.

These are just the opinions of the author, and not the belief of Dunder-Mifflin, Inc.

That is all.

Dwight Kurt Schrute

PS I understand my recent entries have managed to anger both Canadians and women. I imagine someone like Shania Twain must be doubly upset as she is both. (I think!?) I'm sorry, Shania. I think you are really beautiful. And I understand you are married to a mysterious ugly dude. What's up with that? I also apologize to Sarah McLaughlin. You are very HOTT and sing like a Canuck angel. I like Canadian women very much. They know how to build igloos and appreciate John Candy films. Thank you for that.

For once, you actually make sense.
Your meds must have kicked in.

Valentines day is nothing more than well-marketed blackmail. It is backed extortion of the American male.
It floors me that Women allow and enable their men to be guilted into merciless price-gouging.

Women of America - wouldn't it be better to get gifts and thoughts of love out of sincerity and not force?
Don't make your man pay $100.00 for roses that die in 7 days! Don't do it! If you love your man, let him off the hook.
Love cannot and should not be forced!

Don't fall into the trap that is Valentine's day!

Netty if you read this pay it no attention. It is a TRAP man. Buy her something nice, maybe shiney. They all say they don't want anything but you won't get laid for quite some time my friend. Oh the headaches, that time of the month any excuse will do. TRUST YOUR OLD FRIEND MIKE.

I agree with Zany somewhat. I won't sit here and lie by saying I don't want anything for Valentines day, but for me a day off from taking care of the kids, house and cooking dinner would be a really great gift. As far a material gift, I could always use more Thunder gear!!

I'd much rather have all that than a box of candy and a card any day of the year!!
I am running a slight fever so I'll let you all know if this changes, once the fever subsides!!!

The hubby and I are into Valentine's Day gifts, but we buy them for each other.

Zany_Sports_Lady wrote:

For once, you actually make sense. Your meds must have kicked in. Valentines day is nothing more than well-marketed blackmail. It is backed extortion of the American male. It floors me that Women allow and enable their men to be guilted into merciless price-gouging. Women of America - wouldn't it be better to get gifts and thoughts of love out of sincerity and not force? Don't make your man pay $100.00 for roses that die in 7 days! Don't do it! If you love your man, let him off the hook. Love cannot and should not be forced! Don't fall into the trap that is Valentine's day!

See Netminder told you that you should have bought that electric sander instead. foolish little man.

Zany_Sports_Lady wrote:

For once, you actually make sense. Your meds must have kicked in. Valentines day is nothing more than well-marketed blackmail. It is backed extortion of the American male. It floors me that Women allow and enable their men to be guilted into merciless price-gouging. Women of America - wouldn't it be better to get gifts and thoughts of love out of sincerity and not force? Don't make your man pay $100.00 for roses that die in 7 days! Don't do it! If you love your man, let him off the hook. Love cannot and should not be forced! Don't fall into the trap that is Valentine's day!

Netty, you lucky bastard...

Zany_Sports_Lady wrote:

For once, you actually make sense. Your meds must have kicked in. Valentines day is nothing more than well-marketed blackmail. It is backed extortion of the American male. It floors me that Women allow and enable their men to be guilted into merciless price-gouging. Women of America - wouldn't it be better to get gifts and thoughts of love out of sincerity and not force? Don't make your man pay $100.00 for roses that die in 7 days! Don't do it! If you love your man, let him off the hook. Love cannot and should not be forced! Don't fall into the trap that is Valentine's day!

A. Sorry Netty... But Zany, I love you!

B. "Somewhat" Thundergirl? I've had so much faith in you! However, I totally agree with you that everyone deserves a day off. Perhaps the best Valentine's Day gift doesn't come in a "Heart Shaped Box"?

Isn't this fun? This is me being "Happy Drunk"!

Fact: Greeting cards are bought and sold in abundance on Valentine’s Day.

Fact: You work at a paper supply company.

Fact: Valentine’s Day could mean big profits for you as well. Instead of boycotting Valentine’s Day, maybe you should focus your energy on persuading people to buy as many cutesy, romantic greeting cards as they can get their greedy little paws on. It will definitely increase business and maybe you’ll actually get promoted from Assistant to the Regional Manager to Assistant Regional Manager. Maybe you’ll get an actual office and not have to share a space with Jim.

Fact:Chicks love poetry.

You’ll need a heart sticker or just cut one out some of the extra heavy duty red card stock(serial #:432)

I wanted to bring you some candy.
I wanted to write you a song.
But all that I have for you
Is a big heart on.

Fact: You must Recite it loudly for emphasis.

P.S I want a Dwight K. Schrute Bobblehead and Greys Anatomy Season One on DVD for Valentines Day!

LOL

TulsaChick wrote:

Fact: Greeting cards are bought and sold in abundance on Valentine’s Day. Fact: You work at a paper supply company. Fact: Valentine’s Day could mean big profits for you as well. Instead of boycotting Valentine’s Day, maybe you should focus your energy on persuading people to buy as many cutesy, romantic greeting cards as they can get their greedy little paws on. It will definitely increase business and maybe you’ll actually get promoted from Assistant to the Regional Manager to Assistant Regional Manager. Maybe you’ll get an actual office and not have to share a space with Jim. Fact:Chicks love poetry. You’ll need a heart sticker or just cut one out some of the extra heavy duty red card stock(serial #:432) I wanted to bring you some candy. I wanted to write you a song. But all that I have for you Is a big heart on. Fact: You must Recite it loudly for emphasis. P.S I want a Dwight K. Schrute Bobblehead and Greys Anatomy Season One on DVD for Valentines Day! LOL

Here's a poem for you:

I dig the girls with no self esteem
They'll take it in the ass and then lick it clean
They'll do any kinky thing that you want
Just say they're beutiful then piss in their cunt

And all the pretty girls who think they're the shit
They think that they're too good to give what they get
They look the other way when I'm walking by
I still get to fuck them after they die

I dig the fat girls
I dig the ugly girls
I dig the manly girls with all their fucking facial hair
I dig the smelly girls with shit stains in their underwear
I dig the fat girls

5forfighting wrote:

TulsaChick wrote: Fact: Greeting cards are bought and sold in abundance on Valentine’s Day. Fact: You work at a paper supply company. Fact: Valentine’s Day could mean big profits for you as well. Instead of boycotting Valentine’s Day, maybe you should focus your energy on persuading people to buy as many cutesy, romantic greeting cards as they can get their greedy little paws on. It will definitely increase business and maybe you’ll actually get promoted from Assistant to the Regional Manager to Assistant Regional Manager. Maybe you’ll get an actual office and not have to share a space with Jim. Fact:Chicks love poetry. You’ll need a heart sticker or just cut one out some of the extra heavy duty red card stock(serial #:432) I wanted to bring you some candy. I wanted to write you a song. But all that I have for you Is a big heart on. Fact: You must Recite it loudly for emphasis. P.S I want a Dwight K. Schrute Bobblehead and Greys Anatomy Season One on DVD for Valentines Day! LOL Here's a poem for you: I dig the girls with no self esteem They'll take it in the ass and then lick it clean They'll do any kinky thing that you want Just say they're beutiful then piss in their cunt And all the pretty girls who think they're the shit They think that they're too good to give what they get They look the other way when I'm walking by I still get to fuck them after they die I dig the fat girls I dig the ugly girls I dig the manly girls with all their fucking facial hair I dig the smelly girls with shit stains in their underwear I dig the fat girls

Not a very nice poem. Try again. LOL

Dwight K. Schrute would like Tulsa Chick bobble head.
Or is that bobbing head?


That is all.
Dwight K. Schrute

LOL...I can offer both. Let me know your preference.

[quote="TulsaChick"]LOL...I can offer both. Let me know your preference.[/quote]

Are you taking any prescription medications?
It makes a difference.

That is all.
Dwight Kurt Schrute

We have been down that road before.

Will you take Angela to Church for her V-Day gift?

LOL

Oh yes you are correct. So the latter is preferred.

Well Valentines is a Tuesday, church is Sunday. But my gift will be the prayers she has requested.
I'm sentimental that way.


That is all.
Dwight K. Schrute

Since V-Day is Tuesday will you and Angela stay home and watch the Olympics? LOL

It depend on which events are on.
I am a big fan of the curling.
In addition to spooning. I believe that should be an Olympic event as well.

That is all.
Dwight K. Schrute

Curling Rocks as does ice skating and hockey. LOL

Since you like canadians maybe you should mention hockey more on your blog. People listen to you. LOL